I Feel Like Whenever I'm With People They Don't Want Me There
From what you have described it is very possible that you are dealing with depression. Your eating habits are affected, you want to cry all the time, and you feel guilty about feeling the way you do. These are all symptoms that can be associated with depression. There are many things that can contribute to depression, not just the absence of basic life needs such as food and shelter. Sometimes contributing environmental factors can actually be quite subtle.
Related to depression is also insecure attachments. People who have insecure attachments can easily feel like others don’t want them around. They may also want to be alone in order to feel safe from being emotionally hurt by others, yet feel lonely at the same time given that it is human nature to want to be connected to others. From what you have described, the people around you do not notice the emotional distress you are in and then minimize or dismiss it when you try to explain it to them. While it may not be ill-intentioned, it can still have a negative impact in terms of how feel about relationships and being able to turn to (and depend on) others.
TeenHealthFX absolutely does not think you are “whining.” We do think you would like some response from others with this, however, we do NOT view that as a negative thing. To reach out for help from others when we are struggling with something is actually very healthy and shows real strength and courage.
FX thinks that the most helpful thing for you right now would be to meet with a reputable therapist, such as a clinical social worker or clinical psychologist. It would helpful for you to meet with someone who you experience as warm and non-judgmental, as well as someone who has experience and training in working with adolescents, depression and attachment issues. You could check with your doctor, a school counselor, family member or friend for referrals of someone good in your area. A therapist can help you to better understand what is going on for you and how to deal with it so you are not in so much distress.
FX can appreciate that you would prefer to deal with this alone as you may have come to experience others as not being particularly caring or helpful to you in what you are going through. However, if you are dealing with depression it is important for you to be working with a trained mental health professional. And if there are attachment issues, those can only be addressed by dealing with others – starting with a therapist who you feel comfortable with. FX is very glad that you chose to reach out to us about this and we hope that you will continue to reach out to others so you can get the guidance and support you need to feel better.