How Do I Get Over My First Love?
TeenHealthFX can absolutely appreciate the pain that you are going through. Most people have experienced the loss of love in one way or another at some point in their lives. And whenever we lose someone we truly love, the fact is that it can be a very painful experience that can sometimes leave us feeling quite despondent.
To help you to deal with the pain you are feeling, TeenHealthFX wants you to consider the following:
- It is normal to feel all kinds of emotions after a break-up, including pain, sadness, anger, disappointment, and anxiety. Remind yourself that these emotions are a totally understandable reaction to loss.
- Grieving the loss of someone who was dear to us can be very difficult, but the intensity and frequency of negative emotions around it will decrease over time. It is important for you to remind yourself that things will eventually get better.
- Make sure you are spending time with people who you care about and who care about you. Whether you are spending extra time with friends or family members it is important for you to have people to laugh with, have fun with, and to provide you with some healthy and helpful distractions.
- Avoid temptations to reach out to your ex-girlfriend and her friends. In the end, this will only add to your pain and prolong your ability to heal. In addition, TeenHealthFX is concerned about the unkind ways in which your ex and some of her friends seem to be responding to you, and we do not want you to put yourself in the position to be treated poorly.
- Do not look to things like “sleeping around” to make yourself feel better. Having sex with other people is not going to take away the pain you feel. If anything, it could make you feel worse because you might feel badly about yourself and you might feel even more lonely being intimate with people when there is no emotional connection.
- Talk to people about what you are going through. Whether you speak to a parent, an extended family member, a friend, the parent or a friend, a counselor at school or even a private therapist, make sure you are talking to some trusted people in your life about your feelings so that they can provide you with the guidance and support you need to get through this.
- For more information about dealing with a break-up you can read the TeensHealth article, Getting Over a Break-Up.
It is normal for break-ups to be difficult and for it to take some time for the pain and sadness to subside. However, if you find that you are really struggling with this, or you notice that there seems to be some problematic pattern in terms of who you get involved with and how those relationships seem to go, then consider meeting with a reputable private therapist, such as a clinical social worker or clinical psychologist.
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.